In this article there will be presented the process of Counselling for personal development in clear terms, also by going in some deepness, but not too much, in order to facilitate understanding of what is behind the syntagm.
The subtopics will refer to:
- What is counselling for personal development?
- Who and when calls for counselling?
- The stages of the counselling process for personal development
- Theoretical models adopted in counselling
- When and how did the profession of development advisor emerge and evolve?
- What are the traits of a personal development counsellor?
- 3 levels of development advisory support
WHAT IS PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT COUNSELING?
Counselling for development is a process aimed at solving situations considered difficult, both momentarily and situations that have already persisted for a long time and that do not resolve themselves or without specialized intervention. The ultimate goal of this process is the experience of well-being, as this state is understood by the person involved in this endeavour (the client).
Counselling is based on the premise that each person is defined by a series of personality traits, knowledge, skills, attitudes, beliefs and values, behaviours – a constellation of their individual characteristics. Some of these are favourable for adaptation in the socio-economic and cultural environment, others are counterproductive, limiting either accessing and using the person’s potential or, more seriously, putting the person at risk of adaptation and even survival in their living environment.
And the role of counselling is to understand the individual premises and to use, in a non-directive way (occasionally resorting to a more authoritarian attitude) techniques, tools and methods of intervention appropriate to each case, to support the person in solving the problems and in strengthening the beneficial aspects, release him from unproductive thought patterns and acquire appropriate decision-making processes.
Counsellor – client relationship
In the counselling process for personal development, an essential role for achieving each client’s goals is the counselling relationship, which is the essential resource that nourish and supports the process. The counsellor is consciously and responsibly involved in the development and strengthening of the relationship, guiding the client, but at the same time taking into account everything that the client means and brings to this process, granting autonomy and supporting the client to be responsible, autonomous, authentic, creative within the relationship and its development process.
More specifically, the counsellor is not an advisor, but accompanies the client, step by step, to define his situation as clearly as possible, to formulate what results he wants to achieve and to identify and use the resources at his disposal towards the achievement of the intended objective, compatible with the state of well-being. A good counsellor will be patient and not do things for the client, no matter how much they want the client’s good. The client is not a temporary foster parent, but a competent and ready adult to provide support, which will be leveraged to the extent that the client is also ready or willing to do his part.
WHO AND WHEN DOES IT CALL FOR COUNSELING? SITUATIONS WHEN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT COUNSELING IS USEFUL
The need to use counselling services for personal development may arise in various situations:
- Self-knowledge / self-awareness – the desire to identify one’s own potential, directions and ways of harnessing it for a full life
- Transition in various stages of life
- The need to overcome shyness, the development of self-confidence
- The need to change counterproductive behaviours into productive, positive, functional ones
- Difficulty with concentration, focus, consistency – in simple activities or long processes
- The need or desire for a career change
- Strained interpersonal relationships – the need to create or restore functional, harmonious relationships with relevant people from the personal / professional sphere
- The need to make life changes, intentionally, when the client believes that the change will lead to what is beneficial for him/her
The counselling therefore aims at:
- Skill development
- Resolving some situations
- Changing behaviours
It is suitable for both adults and children, for individual or relational problems (couple, parent-child, other significant relationships).
THE STAGES OF THE COUNSELING PROCESS FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Counselling for personal development is a process that results in the client reaching or getting closer to the state of well-being as he defines it at the beginning or as it takes shape along the way (if initially the client is not clear about what the state of well-being is for him/her).
The process itself is a continuous interaction between counsellor and client, as deep a communication as possible. Thus, each case is a story in itself. However, the counsellor follows a series of stages that he will go through, precisely to give a direction towards reaching the objective. The counsellor must understand at any moment in which stage he is and how it is most appropriate to act, being at the same time open to understanding everything that the client communicates, as well as validating the meaning of the communicated content in any way: verbal, non-verbal or symbolic.
Thus, the stages involved in any complete development counselling process are summarized in the following:
- Building the relationship
- Working and solving the situation
- The end of the process, with the achievement of the client’s goal
Let’s detail each one a little bit.
Building the relationship
In general, in the support processes, both the method and the tools known and used by the counsellor are important, as well as the relationship itself that takes shape and develops between the counsellor and the client – as a resource for development. In all counselling and psychotherapy textbooks the relationship is often considered to be more important than any other tools used in the process (provided the counsellor has a high level of professionalism and empathy).
The goal of this stage is to involve the client in identifying and clarifying the situation that concerns him. And at the same time your advisor will be involved in:
- Building a process structure – depending on all the information collected, how it understands and validates it. This means that an initial intervention plan will be drawn up, administrative discussions will take place: commercial-organizational aspects, frequency, duration of meetings
- Assuring the initiative on the part of the client – an approach to the co-interest of the client to engage and take an active role in his own development process responsibly.
The counsellor supports the client to focus on himself and his situation, ensuring a structure of the narrative, actively listening to both the verbal and emotional content, helping to identify and express, as concretely as possible, the objective.
Goals are energy generators for everyday life, but often they can be:
- confusing or unclear (they can be too large accompanied by a lack of priorities). In order to arrive at a clear formulation of objectives, in some situations a high consumption of time and other resources may be required. The counsellor will support the client in identifying and constructively formulating the goal.
- unrealistic – these can be set by both the advisor and the client. They are unrealistic in that they assume the unhindered development of the counselling process, an ideal situation, which we most likely do not find in the field or in the office. It can be about valuable objectives, which deserve to be achieved, but which along the way need permanent reinforcement, support.
- uncoordinated (in contradiction with other objectives or with the person and values, the client’s vision or with the desire to be effectively involved in the achievement of desirable objectives).
In the absence of settling things in this first stage, it is not possible to move on to what it means to work and solve the situation (if we do not have either the clarification and agreement of a goal and the involvement of the client). Any further discussion could only be more muted or less amiable, but with no assumed purpose.
Regarding each new client, the counsellor will be prepared to understand that for many it is not the most pleasant thing to come to counselling, that perhaps this is a last landmark, after trying to find an answer or support in other ways in other sources. The client may not have a clue about how he should behave, what and how to say about his situation and about himself. That is why the counsellor will put into practice active listening, demonstrating empathy and encouraging the client’s openness, by creating a psychological climate of safety and trust.
Some people come to counselling as involuntary clients – they did not decide to come there (a child brought by their parents, an adult brought by their partner, a person who received a recommendation to use the services of a counsellor, etc.). They would be expected to be disinterested in receiving support and may tend to withdraw prematurely from counselling. Knowing this possibility in advance, the counsellor will be prepared with a series of methods to decrease resistance, emotions such as irritability, frustration, belligerence, and increase the chance of gaining the trust and cooperation of these unwilling clients, but not until working with them in their absence. total of their will.
Yes, people also come to counselling for personal development on their own initiative, out of a desire to capitalize on their potential and improve their lives, feeling only that they need a co-pilot, a guide, and they are cooperative and open, and the counsellor is necessary to understand and enjoy such processes as well where, in principle, it is expected to encounter less resistance in the process.
Working and solving the situation
The counselling process starts from the first meeting.
The goal of this stage is to strengthen the relationship as a resource for achieving the objective established in the previous stage, as well as the use of an extremely varied palette of questions, tools, activities – considered the most appropriate for the situation, person and the client’s objective.
There are many tools, trainings, certifications that allow the counsellor to integrate many valuable resources, the important thing being the correct judgment on the part of the counsellor regarding what is relevant, useful and suitable for the client and his situation.
It is expected that in some situations the client’s objectives regarding his participation in counselling will change as he becomes aware of new dimensions of the situation and finds it necessary to re-prioritize the elements compared to the way they were originally established. The counselling process is one of sensemaking, of enlightenment (often), which is why such resettlement takes place, which themselves indicate an evolution.
Once the goal initially set for the counselling process is found to have been achieved, it will enter the closing stage.
In general, the counselling process is expected to last between 2 and 12 sessions, and it is not recommended to exceed a total of 6 months, unless strictly justified by aspects related to the complexity of the objective in relation to the client’s resources to achieve it. It is important, on the part of the advisor, to encourage the client to be involved in their own development process and not to act in such a way as to create dependence on the client in the idea of extending the contract strictly for their own financial interests. In other words, the counsellor will assume and put into practice professional ethics and deontology.
The end of the process, with the achievement of the client’s objective
When can the development advisory process be considered complete, and should it be closed? How do we decide this while we are in the process, either as an advisor or as a client?
The clear and simple answer – when we have achieved the objective, as formulated by the client and agreed upon by both parties – following an appropriate number of sessions.
Once this conclusion is reached, the termination of the process can be one:
- fixed, when a certain number of meetings was stipulated in the contract (which took into account the complexity of the objective and the way of working in the process). An advantage of this format lies in limiting the risk of creating client dependence on the counsellor and the support relationship created.
- open – upon reaching the objectives. The time of conclusion will not be a fixed date, but a finding of the achievement of the client’s objectives for the ongoing counselling process
- gradual – assuming a progressive reduction in the frequency of meetings, until the effective closure
- ending with support sessions – a number of 1-2 verification, feedback, reinforcement sessions will be agreed after 3 months from the end of the process to motivate the client to maintain productive behaviours developed in the process
It can happen that a client decides to complete the process and withdraw without the counsellor also considering that the objective has been reached The client may decide this way because they no longer want to make the necessary effort, withdraw or maybe have another representation and consider that enough was enough.
THEORETICAL MODELS ADOPTED IN COUNSELING
The counselling process is based on a number of theories from the field of psychology, counselling and psychotherapy. The main theoretical benchmarks that provide the necessary basis for structuring the counselling profession and processes come from the paradigms:
- Classical Psychoanalysis (Sigmund Freud)
- Analytical therapy (Gustav Jung)
- Humanistic – counselling and person-centred (Carl Rogers)
- The Gestalt Approach (Fritz Pearls)
- Cognitive behavioural school
- Rational-Emotive Therapy (Albert Ellis)
- Cognitive Therapy (Aaron Beck)
I am considering a separate article reviewing these theories (in active documentation process).
In essence and practically counselling is a multidisciplinary approach that draws its resources for understanding and interventions from areas such as:
- Education
- Psychology (general, developmental, social, etc.)
The use of arts (figurative and expressive) – which is valid for the interventions made by the author of this article (in situations where it is necessary / useful / possible).
WHEN AND HOW DID THE PROFESSION OF DEVELOPMENT ADVISOR EMERGE AND EVOLVE?
In general, a series of educators and social reformers from the XIX-XX, especially from the USA. The initial goal was to provide support for children, young people and adults by providing information, explanations, support sessions that allowed them a better orientation in their relationship with themselves, with others, in the professional area and in everyday life. An important component of counselling in the original stages was the development of character – in relation to the demands of society, to develop people adapted to the socio-economic and cultural context in which they lived.
In this understanding, the counselling profession is strengthened by introducing a course for counsellors at Harvard University in the USA in 1911.As early as 1929, the first counselling office appeared in the USA, specializing in the problems of married couples and the family
In the 1970s the field of counselling already experienced an accelerated expansion in the USA, going beyond the boundaries of the educational, vocational and professional fields.
In the 20th century, Eastern and Central European countries followed a different course compared to the USA and Western Europe, where the counselling profession was enriched in terms of the issues addressed and intervention tools. However, starting in the mid-1990s, counselling is introduced as a discipline in the faculties of psychology and social assistance in important Romanian universities.
Just as psychotherapy was originally dedicated to people with problems and disorders of a psychological nature, and then the subscription to a psychotherapist even became a differentiator to indicate concern for one’s own mental well-being, so did counselling, which originally targeted more vulnerable groups in within society, it is currently requested and designed to meet the needs of the normal population, regardless of the socio-economic, professional or cultural coordinates of the person.
I would like to emphasize that from the very beginning the field of counselling, at its historical base, targeted the population considered healthy from a mental/psychic point of view.
For interventions aimed at people with psychological difficulties, for approaches to explore the personal past, traumas and the possible deep roots of problematic situations of the person, they should work with a psychological counsellor or psychotherapist (versus personal development counsellor).
WHAT ARE THE TRAITS OF A PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT COUNSELOR?
Here we have a dual purpose in presenting a list of traits and competencies compatible with practicing the counselling profession.
First, for a self-awareness of the counsellor himself, in order to verify and involve in a continuous development process.
Secondly, it can also be useful for a client to understand the professional profile required in the exercise of this activity by his adviser, if this can help him in his decision to call on a professional.
So, the personality traits and behaviours of a person, associated with the practice of counselling are:
- Curiosity and experimentation (the counsellor will meet a wide variety of people, situations, creativity and curiosity being necessary for the appropriate approach to each one, contrary to the standardized, uniform approach to each situation, which in reality is impossible.
- Active listening skills (a counsellor will generally listen 80% of the time they spend with a client. It is a real skill to actively listen, to understand, to get the meaning of the situation from the other’s perspective and not to tend to jump in with advice or judge the other’s situation by your own criteria and benchmarks.
- Ease of having a conversation – in the sense that there may be moments in the process where the counsellor needs to be able to take the initiative in handling possible more delicate moments with some clients, to facilitate the transition to various stages of the process in a fluid manner, keeping calm and coherence.
- Empathy and understanding – the situation and counselling is about the client, and the best intervention cannot be identified in the absence of a deep understanding of the person in front. It is an ability to receive, process, without becoming sentimental or tearful, but to reflect and respond appropriately to the emotional state of the client when necessary – not to stand rigidly like a scientist in front of the chemical formula 😊
- Introspection – it’s almost impossible to get into someone else’s inner world if you don’t know your own and if you don’t understand who you are, why and how you do things, and how you can change what needs to be changed in yourself, counsellor
- The ability to offer, to give – this is somewhere elementary as a motivation for choosing such an activity, since the essence of the field is to accompany by offering time, energy, dedication, knowledge.
- Sense of humour – as sometimes both the counsellor and the client need to see things on a less serious note, weigh the attribution of dark meanings to a situation or perspective. Of course, a sense of humour, even if it exists, needs to be used sparingly and in the right context. We will never use humour to invalidate a customer’s situation from the start.
- Perseverance – a client situation requires focus and follow-up over the course of even a few months, during which time it is important to work with the same energy and serious reporting on every case in the active client portfolio
- Intellectual competence – the willingness and ability to learn, as well as the use of imagination and creative thinking
- Ability to act – supporting clients to find and make their own decisions, providing support to gain hope and confidence
- Benevolence, good intentions – a genuine desire to work constructively in the client’s interest by supporting their autonomy in a manner that demonstrates tact
- Self-confidence – involves self-knowledge and taking ownership of one’s personality, personal values, emotions, as well as the ability to recognize and manage the factors behind who he/she is as a person.
THE 3 LEVELS OF COUNSELLING SUPPORT
In real life we have many decisions to make, we face various difficult situations and call for help in various ways and in various directions. Thus, depending on the sources of help, we identify 3 levels of the type of support we receive
- The non-professional level refers to situations when we turn to family members, friends, colleagues, neighbours or other trusted people in our lives to consult with them and ask for concrete advice. The non-professional level is an important resource for a person’s emotional and social balance. In many life situations a conversation in this environment can bring many benefits, it can inspire good quality decisions and solutions. And on the contrary, depending on the level of understanding of these people and their real intentions, turning to their advice or help can, in some cases, lead to disadvantageous decisions for the person seeking support. The support offered will not be based on a specific theoretical system, but on what is called common sense or perhaps a special wisdom acquired through relevant, possibly similar experiences. We can go to these people for decisions from the simplest to the most complex, whenever we need a helping hand or listening ears.
- The informal level refers to situations when we turn for support to people who have some competence in providing advice, but this is not their main job. For example, we can ask a teacher, education or health worker for advice on a situation that is not related to his subject / specialization, but to his professional status (do you think it is better not to study mathematics? ). Here we can have a more or less structured conversation between the two people, in the most diverse environments.
- Professional level – refers to seeking support from a specialist personal development counsellor whose basic professional training is to understand situations and provide structured and systematized counselling processes, working within one or more theoretical frameworks to relate to the situation. The way support is offered at a professional level normally takes place in a structured framework in working sessions, with the tracking of progress towards achieving a goal set by the client following an understanding of their situation. The professional counsellor will have as his first objective the acquisition of the most complete clarity on the client’s situation, after which he will decide what could be the appropriate intervention method – taking into account the situation, person, context. Depending on the case, client and context it may sometimes be possible for a counsellor to refer a client to another fellow counsellor (structural incompatibilities regarding value systems, for example, limiting the possibility of a functional professional relationship) or to another type of specialist (psychologist, psychiatrist – if the client’s situation requires deeper interventions such as the relief of a depression or anxiety state, or other accentuated disorders of a psychological nature, which make the dedicated intervention incompatible for the mentally healthy population.
CONCLUSIONS
Counselling for personal development is a process based on the relationship between the counsellor and the client as well as on the assumption and involvement of the client to achieve the goal that will lead or bring him closer to the well-being for himself, as he personally understands it (as much as long as it does not present a social or personal danger). In general, we are talking about interventions and involvement for self-knowledge, behaviour changes, the acquisition of skills, career guidance, inter-relationship difficulties.
The developmental counselling process is aimed at the population considered not to present severe mental disorders (in which case psychotherapy is appropriate).
Counselling is a process with a structure, with stages and for each person and situation the process is designed differently, personalized, aligned to the needs, resources, personal characteristics of the client. We don’t come to the counsellor for advice and standard answers, but rather as the last landmark in a process in which the counsellor has the role of guide, supporter, guide, while the responsibility and autonomy for decisions and action rests with the client.
If after reading this article you think you want to know details or because it could be useful for you to solve situations from the personal development palette, you can contact me directly on
- WhatsApp at 0726151981
- email: office@talentreserve.ro
- or via calendly (we arrange a discussion at a suitable time for everyone’s diaries) https://calendly.com/oksanarusu/oksanarusu/
Author: Oksana Rusu
About the author
- Facilitator for personal development and experiential learning using music as a working tool (adults and children)
- Graduated in Social Work at Babeș Bolyai University Cluj Napoca, majoring in psycho-socio-pedagogy,
- 17 years of HR experience, including both formal and informal career counselling projects, licenses for a range of highly accurate assessment and prediction tools for behavioural trends – personality, strengths skills, identifying interests and orientation towards fields compatible with the person’s interests, potential and availability
- Dalcroze certification graduate (music and movement), active music pedagogy method, which allows expressive interventions in personal development processes and therapies (sensory experience of music, non-verbal expression through instruments and musical materials, working with emotions using one’s own music, training attention, self-control, coordination, orientation and adaptation, mobility, etc.)